I have decided that the title, 'Healthy for Life' isn't a truly accurate representation of my life. The more accurate title would be - 'Food... a Lifelong Struggle'.
At first I thought maybe 'Food and Fitness... a Life Long Struggle', but, we all know fitness is not a struggle for me, but rather an obsession. I wish I was as dedicated to eating healthy as I am to exercise. I struggle with food everyday, all day long. I love eating healthy, and I especially love the way I feel when doing so, with no regrets. However, I love the taste of that awful poison that is lurking everywhere I go. As hard as I try to keep it at bay, it always makes its way back - with a vengeance. I love chocolate, ice cream and bread! I wish I didn't, but I do.
I truly treat it like a drug and find myself tearing apart the cabinets to find something that will feed my habit - a.k.a. white sugar or white flour. Without a doubt, no matter how bad I think I need it and justify why it is okay and try to convince myself not to feel guilty, I do anyway and big time. I really beat myself up about the fact that I'm just not strong enough.
Is there really a difference?
They both give you a wonderful, though temporary, feeling - a high, if you will.
Yet, they both also give you the same inevitable ending - a crash.
Then you go and do it all over again.
Maybe, I need to look at food-related parts of the Word of Wisdom, the same way I view the rest of it. I would never smoke, drink or do drugs. My body is a temple. So why do I allow myself to participate in legal drugs? Have you ever gone completely off sugar and or caffeine? There is a withdrawal response that your body goes through. It is terrible - the heightened anxiety, the headaches, shakiness, etc. Hello!!! If your body goes through that kind of trauma from sugar and caffeine withdrawal, should we really allow ourselves to have it, and worse, to become addicted to it? What about our kids? We have all seen the way our kids act when they overdose on the stuff at birthday parties and holidays. And yet many of us still feed it to them on a regular basis. Take a look at school lunches. What do you send? Sandwiches made of bread containing high fructose corn syrup, greasy chips and cookies/candy. I am totally guilty of it, as of late. Ryleigh who loves salad and Greek yogurt in her lunch, is eating her friends treats and not her own lunch. The temptation is too much and she wants the good stuff. So instead of being strong, I cracked. I don't want Ryleigh sneaking food and developing a life long habit of being a closet junk-food junkie. So, I caved and bought chips and cookies. I don't pack it daily and not much of it when I do. Yet, I did what went against my beliefs due to pure pressure.
I must get back on the wagon!
Blogging about it will help me be more accountable for my actions. I must start now! Today was the last straw for me. I knew I had to do something when I snuck into the fridge in the garage and cracked open the can of Coke that has been there for months but has never been a temptation. I totally cracked and drank half the can. While I realize it should be a big deal, I had gone a full six months without even a sip of soda, I felt as though I had hit rock bottom. Now is the time to pick myself up and begin to treat my body like a temple. I am not saying that the occasional treat is off limits. The key word here is occasional, not everyday. I need to be smart about what foods I put in my body. How will it make me feel mentally, physically and emotionally?
Now, it is my new found dedication to beating food... a life long struggle.
This is on the menu...
This is not.
Here I go...
